Where I Want To Go

In my Where I Am Today post I gave an insight to the last 16 years and how my life has changed in that time.

Today, and every day, I think about the future and what I struggle with today in getting where I want to go. And there within lies part of the problem. I’m not sure where I want to go. Do I want to be an entrepreneur or am I just smitten by what I see others share online?

Do I want to return to the private sector and work in an environment that applauds and rewards the extra effort and where extra effort may benefit my family financially?

Or do I just want to continue down the path of the current comfort zone and stay in a “safe” job that offers benefits with a routine of working 8 hours, going home, and returning to work the next day for 8 more hours?

I think about this constantly. I have not had that epiphany I’ve heard that Gary Vaynerchuck had in 4th Grade or Dean Karnazes had at 30 years old. I’m still waiting to learn what it is that I should be doing during these most productive work years of my life.

One thing I know is true is that I continue to show up to my current job and I do what I believe I should be doing today; providing the best customer service I can provide in the role I fill with the resources I have available to me. And I receive praise and thanks for my efforts but in the public sector a time comes when you need to decide if you are satisfied with the position, salary, and benefits that you currently receive. Unlike the private sector, public sector jobs have a cap on pay, benefits, and paid time off and no matter how much extra effort you give you will always receive the same compensation. So, is that what I want?

There was a time at my first consulting firm the consultants were offered an opportunity to increase one’s pay by billing additional hours past a baseline goal of billed monthly hours. I used to get frustrated at the amount of effort it would take to get just 10 extra hours of billable time. In hindsight, I wish that kind of incentive was an option to me today. I think I would have worked harder to bill those extra 10, 20, 30 hours to boost my then income. I definitely missed out on earning potential.

And even though I haven’t honed in on a clear direction I do see myself working less in the day to day helpdesk role I have at work today and more in a creative environment. One that allows me to produce content or provide solutions. I also envision a work environment that doesn’t restrict me geographically. I would really love to be part of a team that recognizes the capabilities of today’s technology; affording team members the ability to work anywhere. I also envision being in an environment where I can mentor those that are looking to learn from my experiences and surround myself with more individuals that have experience that I can learn from. Of course, finding a job or work life situation that allows me to continue coaching and being active in youth sports is also very important to me. I’m not ready to hang up my coach’s hat anytime soon and in fact, could see that being more of a focus in my life.

To say I’ve struggled with identifying what it is I “want to do with my life” is an understatement. I know I’m here for a reason but I haven’t yet figured out what that reason, at least professionally, is.

For now, I’m going to bed yet again contemplating on what it is that I can offer the world that will be of value to others.